Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I can't wait to keep meeting my daughter

Clara has a new trait.

She smiles.

I know, not really earth shattering, but for Karey and me it is huge. She used to smile on occasion before, but was always assumed it was just by accident. We'd see her sort of curl up her lip and her eyes widen and we'd claim that as an expression of her happiness. We don't need to do that anymore. Now she smiles all the time and in different ways. Huge, big open mouth smiles. Little, almost mischievous closed mouth smiles. And of course my favorite, the one you see here, smiles that are sent only through her eyes.

This new phenomenon got me thinking. There is so much about Clara that we have yet to learn. I passionately looked forward to meeting my first child for a long time, but I never thought that once she came to us, that introduction process would be ongoing for the rest of our lives. 3 months ago, I knew nothing about Clara, but 2 weeks ago, I knew nothing about the Clara that smiles all of the time.

The weather has been spectacular this week in Central Virginia and whenever I feel the spring air, I almost automatically start thinking about baseball. Living in Upstate NY, the idea of getting to play baseball outside after being buried under snow for 6 months brought me such excitement. I loved when my Dad and I would find my glove buried under a pile of sporting equipment in the basement and we'd oil it up to get ready to play catch for the first time.

It won't be long before I can share that experience with Clara. I have no idea if she will have the same enjoyment that I did. As I thought about that future, my mind started racing, wondering what kind of kid Clara will be. Will she be a super girly-girl, like her mother and her Aunt Becky and I will have to beg her to come outside? Will she be a little tomboy, like Aunt Amy and be the one begging me to go outside and play catch?

But my thought process went even further.. What if she does want to play softball or baseball, what kind of player will she be? Will she want to lead-off and steal bases? Will she be a power hitter? Will she want to pitch and learn a vicious windmill that her opponents will cower in fear over? (I vote for all of the above)

The point is, I have no idea. I don't even know that girl yet. But I can't wait to meet her.

I honestly get excited when I think of every single one of those possibilities unfolding, and this is just one tiny example of the thousands of new Claras we are going to meet in the future.

Over the course of my life, I don't feel really like I have changed all that much. But this new revelation has made me realize that my parents are meeting new versions of me all the time. Even though I am a full grown adult, they are still meeting the new me, even today.

They have waited a long time to meet their son as a father.

13 comments:

barbie said...

so true! I read in Three to get Married by Bishop Sheen that a husband falls in love with his wife all over again, seeing her become a mother and the wife falls in love with her husband again seeing him become a father. The same for our parents......

Lori said...

I'm just loving Clara's big smiles...can't wait to see it in person! G said we should go to a Flying Squirrels game- are you guys in?

Anonymous said...

"Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person , a beautiful thing.". Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Karey said...

I love this! I know I might be biased, but she has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

And, for the record, despite being a girly girl, no one ever had to beg me to go outside to play catch. The snow melting meant getting outside (after weeks of playing indoors), and my glove was never far from me, even in the off-season. And speaking of baseball, how come you didn't mention that you're getting excited that Clara might be a lefty??

Anonymous said...

This is so true! It is truly amazing to be a parent, but being a grandparent is even better! I know that is hard to believe. I love Clara! Which isn't hard to do! Love, Grandma

Leila said...

What a beautiful post from an incredible daddy! So many amazing milestones ahead....

Jeremiah 29:11 said...

Beautiful post Ryan!! :)

Sissy said...

Such a fun perspective!

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

I think she's going to be rebellious and be a Yankees fan... hahaha!! And I'll be happy to send her Yankee jerseys and hats!

I love the eye-smiling :) Precious!

Tom/Lorraine said...

What a great post. Thanks so much for sharing.

B-Mama said...

This is beautiful coming from her daddy! Love it!! Tell your wife I had such fun meeting up with her last week... That little Clara is PRECIOUS and even more so with those smiles. Glad you all had a great weekend in NY.

LifeHopes said...

I am not sure if I am hormonal or not, but this post brought me to tears.

Because that is EXACTLY how I feel about little L. I cannot wait to meet her anew every single day, to see what she will do, to experience life again with her ... you said it so well!

Anne said...

What a great post, and a wonderful reminder to all of us as parents that we have a new person to meet every single day. :)